Statuary warning: As this writing is from a mordant Martian, it is dripping with male chauvinism and might offend some venusian readers. Reader discretion advised.
To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part.
These magic words bring a Martian and a Venusian together on Earth, where they live happily married thereafter. Atleast, that’s how it seemed when the world would look at them through their telescopic eyes. But on a microscopic level, they were just two individuals from Mars and Venus struggling to create an euphoria, without letting go of their individualities. Little did the Venusian know that after becoming a bride comes the ordeal of being a wife. Poor Venusian, all she wanted was the ceremony, not the marriage.
She had starved and slogged to wear those umpteen dresses tailored for a certain size, minus 1. And on the day of marriage, a cameraman was threatened with dire consequences if he happened to miss a blink that she gave. For that was culmination of her entire existence till that day. With those memories so beautifully caught on tape (actually they could have been better had we used the services of the other photographer....an oft-said statement that went like a prelude to the video.) And so she would spend the rest of her life watching and admiring the beautiful bride in that video. After lots of snacks, cold drinks that accompanied the vidoe viewing for n number of times a day, she would one day happen to look at herself in the mirror and then catch hold of her poor unsuspecting Martian and blame him for all that she has become. Blame him for how he used to swoop her in his arms then and how devoid of love he has become now. He would be told to swear upon his ancestry to convince her that there was no other woman in his life. Whereas the fact of the matter is that, now, every attempt of sweeping her off her feet would cause him a week long back ache. To add salt to injury would come the loving reply - "You have grown old. Accept it". And should the Martian dare challenge her, he would surely have to sleep empty stomach in the next room.
This Venusian was a living example of "I love my mother but i dont want to be like her" and the Martian was blind in his wisdom attained through the struggles that life had laid out for him. He looked inwards to find happiness while she would look for happiness outside. For him, adventure was a night spent in the woods, and the morning dew of the forest would rejuvenate him. For her adventure would mean an air conditioned drop to a luxury hotel where sleeping till late afternoons would rejuvenate her. He slogged hard for his 6 pack abs while she packed tyres around her waist. He was a health freak while she ate like there's no tomorrow.
Despite all this and much more, they lived together and cultivated their eccentricities. A silent pact would often form to enjoy life on their own individual terms, as all such acts of togetherness would often result in "Just another fucked up day in paradise". Their friends gifted them writings of John Grays and Richard Bachs so that they could build a bridge across forever between their respective planets. So while he devoured all text; she could never get past the preface. He would devour her cooking and lick the vessel off to the last crumb as a sign of appreciation, whereas she would only be contended upon hearing the soft cooing words of appreciation. He would believe in acts of love and sacrifice; while she would only remember the days on which the words of love were uttered. Living in utopia, the Venusain would feel as a slave girl attending to the needs of her Martian, and so the Martian learnt how not to be dependent on his companion from Venus for his day-to-day needs. And that aggravated her which in turn confused the Martian because all he would hear from his Venusian was that no matter what he did it was never good enough as he was just doing his own chores.
The Venusian wanted that the Martian should wear a barbed live wire around him with a signboard "Keep away. He is mine. Trespassers eyes shall be gouged". The Martian was so defiant and adamant for not wearing a wedding ring while the Venusian considered the tradition of covering her head in family gatherings so passé and countrified. While he would like her hennaed hands, she would get her hair streaked. While she would like him to sport a mane, he would not let go of his U.S. Marine look.
And with each having their own orbital path and trying to revolve together, they were bound to collide. And so they did. So now, with each back to their respective planets, the Venusian is watching "Chalte-Chalte" (that Shahrukh Khan and Rani Mukherjee flick) after every meal.
And the Martian is doing the Dard-E-Disco jig thrice a day.
So do opposites attract or do birds of a feather flock together? That’s another topic that can be debated with no satisfactory answers.
C'est la vie....
To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part.
These magic words bring a Martian and a Venusian together on Earth, where they live happily married thereafter. Atleast, that’s how it seemed when the world would look at them through their telescopic eyes. But on a microscopic level, they were just two individuals from Mars and Venus struggling to create an euphoria, without letting go of their individualities. Little did the Venusian know that after becoming a bride comes the ordeal of being a wife. Poor Venusian, all she wanted was the ceremony, not the marriage.
She had starved and slogged to wear those umpteen dresses tailored for a certain size, minus 1. And on the day of marriage, a cameraman was threatened with dire consequences if he happened to miss a blink that she gave. For that was culmination of her entire existence till that day. With those memories so beautifully caught on tape (actually they could have been better had we used the services of the other photographer....an oft-said statement that went like a prelude to the video.) And so she would spend the rest of her life watching and admiring the beautiful bride in that video. After lots of snacks, cold drinks that accompanied the vidoe viewing for n number of times a day, she would one day happen to look at herself in the mirror and then catch hold of her poor unsuspecting Martian and blame him for all that she has become. Blame him for how he used to swoop her in his arms then and how devoid of love he has become now. He would be told to swear upon his ancestry to convince her that there was no other woman in his life. Whereas the fact of the matter is that, now, every attempt of sweeping her off her feet would cause him a week long back ache. To add salt to injury would come the loving reply - "You have grown old. Accept it". And should the Martian dare challenge her, he would surely have to sleep empty stomach in the next room.
This Venusian was a living example of "I love my mother but i dont want to be like her" and the Martian was blind in his wisdom attained through the struggles that life had laid out for him. He looked inwards to find happiness while she would look for happiness outside. For him, adventure was a night spent in the woods, and the morning dew of the forest would rejuvenate him. For her adventure would mean an air conditioned drop to a luxury hotel where sleeping till late afternoons would rejuvenate her. He slogged hard for his 6 pack abs while she packed tyres around her waist. He was a health freak while she ate like there's no tomorrow.
Despite all this and much more, they lived together and cultivated their eccentricities. A silent pact would often form to enjoy life on their own individual terms, as all such acts of togetherness would often result in "Just another fucked up day in paradise". Their friends gifted them writings of John Grays and Richard Bachs so that they could build a bridge across forever between their respective planets. So while he devoured all text; she could never get past the preface. He would devour her cooking and lick the vessel off to the last crumb as a sign of appreciation, whereas she would only be contended upon hearing the soft cooing words of appreciation. He would believe in acts of love and sacrifice; while she would only remember the days on which the words of love were uttered. Living in utopia, the Venusain would feel as a slave girl attending to the needs of her Martian, and so the Martian learnt how not to be dependent on his companion from Venus for his day-to-day needs. And that aggravated her which in turn confused the Martian because all he would hear from his Venusian was that no matter what he did it was never good enough as he was just doing his own chores.
The Venusian wanted that the Martian should wear a barbed live wire around him with a signboard "Keep away. He is mine. Trespassers eyes shall be gouged". The Martian was so defiant and adamant for not wearing a wedding ring while the Venusian considered the tradition of covering her head in family gatherings so passé and countrified. While he would like her hennaed hands, she would get her hair streaked. While she would like him to sport a mane, he would not let go of his U.S. Marine look.
And with each having their own orbital path and trying to revolve together, they were bound to collide. And so they did. So now, with each back to their respective planets, the Venusian is watching "Chalte-Chalte" (that Shahrukh Khan and Rani Mukherjee flick) after every meal.
And the Martian is doing the Dard-E-Disco jig thrice a day.
So do opposites attract or do birds of a feather flock together? That’s another topic that can be debated with no satisfactory answers.
C'est la vie....
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